Wednesday, September 13, 2006

Challenges

As Mike’s discharge nears, I know we will enter a new phase.  Until now, weekends have been a welcomed retreat from hospital life.  We lounge around and though we often have a few items on the agenda, we do not have a demanding schedule.  However, being at home “for good” will probably bring up issues for us to wade through.

Before the accident, Mike was living on his own but will now be living at home.  That alone can bring up challenges in relationships.  When you’ve been independent but now have to rely on others for some of your basic needs, it can be difficult and depressing.  What should be my role as a mom?  My natural tendency in the past few months has been to look after Mike but I have to be careful not to create a dependency.  I have to find that balance of helping to provide a safe comfort zone and yet still continue to prod and push one out of the nest.  Many of these things we have talked about, trying to anticipate those hurdles but we will learn as we go!  One positive thing about this experience is that we, as a family, have always been able to talk openly about our feelings.  (Hmm…I’m even talking about it online!)

Just one more of the challenges to come!

13 comments:

Anonymous said...

Good Luck on your driver's test. I bet you are really looking forward to getting out of the hospital. I am glad that everyone is doing well. Terry Hannan

Anonymous said...

whoot whoot. just got the internet hooked up in dorms, had to check the blog. glad to read all the good news!! im praying for you. i'll have to come visit sometime now im in the city.-rash

Anonymous said...

Thank YOU all for keeping us updated. I still think of your family daily and pray for you in your many challenges.
Exciting - only a few more days in the hospital.
take care!!! June

Anonymous said...

Barkers,

Mike, hope you do well on your Drivers test. Mrs. Barker, thanks so much for the updates, and yes, I had to smile at the thought of being so open to sharing feelings, even online. :)

Less than a week to go!!!!!
Britney in MI

Anonymous said...

Hi Barker family, This one is for Mrs. Barker, i know i can't relate to what you are going through, but i can tell you this, that you are doing a Magnificent job as a mother and when you not sure what to do, give it time and you will know. And hey Mike, good luck on your driving test if you did not take it all ready. Take care

Sherraz

Anonymous said...

Hello from Siberia,

I haven't had a chance to get on your blog for awhile, but am SO glad to hear of all the progress you 've made. I think of you often, Brenda, and pray for your inner strength. Thanks for sharing openly. I'm also SO glad that you've found a house!

Love, Sharon for the Wickers

Anonymous said...

Hey Mike,
Hope everythings been going good for you,and I've been hearing bits and pieces of whats going on from Darby. I'm hoping next weekend me and Darby will be able to come visit it that would be ok with you, so just let us know where your at and when's good for you. Hope you have a great week and everything went well with your drivers.
Kristen Shewchuk

Anonymous said...

Hello Mike and family
Awesome to hear of the outstanding progress you have been making Mike! You are a remarkable young man! Good Luck with the driving test.
Brenda, as a mom to a mom, I can somewhat understand the challenge you are facing. Moms always try to make their children's challenges a bit easier for them. (It's only natural!)You will without a doubt do the right things for Mike.
Still in my thoughts and prayers.
Debbie T

Julie-Anne said...

Mike's Mom (sorry I don't know your name)

It is really good that you are able to sit down and think about all these things before they happen. It is good that you are thinking about the hurdles and changes you will have to overcome & about how this will affect your relationships as a family. You are definately on the right tract. The changes that will come will be hard to get through but remember to rely on God for strength and guidance from His Spirit. And don't forget that God has surrounded you with numerous family and friends (just look at the Frappr Map LOL) and they are here for you. Don't be afraid to go to them or lean on them for support.
In regards to how to be when Mike is discharged and moves home, I think that you should just be a loving, caring mother who is there for her son (which, by the way, I can tell you already have that part down pat) and be his friend. Since you said that your family is doing really well at communicating feelings, I am sure that Mike will let you know what he does/doesn't need. You are amazing. I pray that God will continue to bless your family and give you the strength you need to keep going.

God Bless,

~Julie-Anne~

Candace said...

Hey Barkers!

Long time no hear from me! I will say this... I have been reading the Blog and keeping myself updated as much as possible.
Mike your progress is amazing!

Sorry to hear about Max. I remember when it was the trend in High School to share a dog with someone. I wanted one so bad, however, my parents wouldn't allow it seeing that I've had several dogs growing up and they all died, being that I lived on a farm in the middle of no where! I did enjoy chasing Max down the halls in school though!

Mrs. Barker...
When I read through these entries I was so amazed to see what a great mother you are. There will definetly be some obstacles you will face, BUT your enthusiasm for these challenges are none-the-less encouraging for everyone, especially, I think, for Mike. Your family is blessed to find so much support in one another. It's refreshing to hear that your family is always there through thick and thin.

I hope you pass your drivers test! Good luck with that! I was happy to hear you got to spend some time with your family outside of the hospital. That must have been an energy booster for you.

There are so many blessings you all are receiving! Such as the house and Mikes progress (the wheelies in the wheelchair ESPECIALLY!).

I just want to let you know that although I hadn't written that I definetly have not forgotten. I still pray for you and your family.

So I am back in College. Grant MacEwan Mental Health Program. I was doing my Bachelor of Arts, but I felt it wasn't really for me. This program is awesome! You know the coolest part was that in the first week it was mandatory we went on this camping trip. It's because this program focuses on aboriginal people so we were introduced to some of their teachings. I slept in a tipi! haha. It was so fun! I met some awesome people and school has never been so much fun. Never thought I would say that! There's way more work in this program, however, I enjoy doing it because this is my passion. I hope in the future to work with addicts. God has definetly been blessing me as well!

Now that my life is back on track and I'm back in school mode things are not so hectic and I will be writing to you A LOT more! OH OH... CONGRATULATIONS TO STEVE AND LORI! I love babies... I'm a baby borrower... I like to borrow my families babies and take care of them haha. Okay this was so long! I will continue my prayers for all of you and for a healthy baby for Steve and Lori.

Candace Glaubitz

Anonymous said...

Hey Mike,

Tomorrow's the big day!! I can't believe how fast discharge day has come! Time flies when you're having fun, even hospital fun. I'm so excited for you and your family (Steve told us about his "M" tatoo yesterday) Hope you have an awesome last 24 hours at Glenrose.

Britney

Hebrews 13:8-Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.

Galatians 5:1

Juli Knofler said...

Mike,
I am so excited you are able to go home. I am sure you are too. Although there will be new challenges I know you will do great! You have already proven that to everyone by your amazing attitude and strength. I am thinking and praying for you often.
Love,
Juli

Debbie K said...

Praying that the move home will go smoothly and the driving test will be a mere formality. You all continue to be such an inspiration to us all and the postings so helpful for us a long way away to know how to pray more effectively. Thanks once again. Just as an aside, through this blog I have caught up with someone I haven't seen for 23 years!! Thought you'd like to know you are useful for something!!